My body confidence is at an all time low. I have never been one to completely love my body. But having two kids has really made me not like the way I look at all. I look down and I don’t see anything I like. I’m not saying I’m overweight I’m just not happy with how I look. I see so many moms over social media totally embracing and loving their new bodies. This can just make you feel worse. I’m not on about size 6 moms that snapped back into shape after two weeks of having a baby. Just your average mom that just loves their body. I just wish I was like them just happy with how I look but I’m just not.
I have never really looked at myself and think gosh I look good even before having children. I have always been pair shaped meaning I have wide hips. It makes it so hard to find trousers that fit properly. Their either way too tight . Or I have to go up a size and they are huge around the waist but fit the tops of my legs. Now I know people are reading this and thinking gosh don’t be so stupid or how self-indulgent. But when you just don’t feel nice it’s really hard.
Any mom that has had a C-section will tell you that your body will just never be the same again. Between your scar and your bits is like a pouch. A pouch of chub that is impossible to lose. A pouch of Chub that just makes me feel horrid about my belly. I want to be able to look at my scar and feel proud that I successfully had two babies. At the moment I just feel frumpy and fed up.
Every morning I look at the clothes in my wardrobe and I don’t feel confident in any of them. I still wear a lot of clothes I had when I was pregnant as they hide the bits I don’t want people to see. I’m not sure if this is the problem as when I was pregnant I was probably the most body confident I have ever been . I put these clothes on now and I just fell crappy.
Then I look at my at my skin and it just makes me so sad. I have battled with my skin for many of years now. I still get spots as if I was a teenager they become very red and sore. I’m not the worlds best person to hide them with makeup either so I always think people are looking at how bad my skin is. I also have really dark circles around my eyes. This again is something I had before having children so I know it’s not down the lack of sleep. Although I constantly look like I haven’t slept in years. Over the years I have brought so many different products to try to compact both my skin and my dark circles and nothing works long-term. They may work for a few weeks then I’m back to square one. Normally feeling worse than I did before I used the products.
I know were meant to be happy and proud about our bodies but I’m just not. The thing that I really worry about is that Ava will grow up with this same feelings. I try not to let it outwardly affect me and I know as she gets older I will need to make sure I don’t let it show. I’m hoping if I can get rid a bit of my baby weight I will feel a little better. All I want to be able to do is fit into my clothes better. I don’t want to be a size 6 because let’s be honest that’s not going to happen and I don’t want it to happen either.
Is anyone ever happy with their body ?You see people going to extreme lengths to feel better about their body.But in reality do they ever reach their end goal. Does anyone ever reach their end goal ?. I think I would rather have better skin and no dark circles and stay at the weight I am if I’m being completely honest. Your face is something everyone sees and no one really sees anything else. So maybe I need to focus on getting my skin better. I just want to feel happy and confident with how I look.
Just a little note I haven’t written this post so people comment but you look lovely. I wanted get all my feelings down . Maybe it will help me move on and sort things out. Or maybe it might make someone feel like their not alone with feeling crappy and frumpy. We don’t all love our bodies were not all body activists.
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