Tuesday was Alby’s first birthday so that means that I have survived a year of being a mom of two . Both kids are still in one piece and are happy and healthy. So I take that as a win we must be doing something right. Being a parent to two children is hard work, anyone that says it’s easy is lying to you. Going from one to two is hard. There are some things that I have come to realise over the last year. If you’re a parent of two can you relate to any of them.
Sleep is a thing of the past
Sleep doesn’t really happen much in our house anymore. Ava still doesn’t sleep through the night every night. Which normally results in her coming into our bed during the night. This I can deal with as she literally wakes up gets into bed with us and goes straight back off. Alby isn’t as easy as this. Alby was an amazing sleeper as a baby he would wake for a bottle, then as soon as he was done with it he would go straight to sleep. Then he hit around 6 months old and he decided he would wake more than he ever has done and takes ages to settle again. Alby crying in the night is one of the reason why Ava still wakes. As he wakes her up and she starts to worry about him. So im going from room to room trying to settle both of them. Or they both end up in my bed leaving very little room for me and Jordan.
A good night for me now is where I get around 4 hours in interrupted sleep. I can now function pretty well on little sleep also. Which before having kids if I didn’t have a good 8 hours sleep then I was no use to anyone.
If your reading this and your pregnant with your first child. When people say you need to sleep when the baby does take full advantage of this and do it the housework can wait. When you have two kids the likelihood of them having a nap at the same time is virtually impossible. Or if they are like Ava they will stop having naps as soon as you have your second one. So now you’re not able to have a cheeky day nap. Instead your watching Mr Tumble on repeat.
Girls are so much easier than boys when they are little
I really took for granted how easy Ava was as a baby. She just got on with things played with her toys and only came to me when she wanted food or something to drink. Alby how ever wants to be on me all the time. He just wants so much love and cuddle. which is lovely but it does get tiring. Constantly picking him up and carrying around has played havoc on my back. If I don’t pick him up he throws himself on the floor.
His not really good at entertaining himself either he has to have someone with him. If he does play by himself it’s for all of five minutes then his bored and wanting me again.
I honestly think if I had Alby first then I would have waiting so much longer before having another. I find it so much harder to leave him with anyone as I just worry that he will be a pain. I worry he will cry and get upset without me being there. Where I would leave Ava With anyone and she really wouldn’t care. She’s the same now she loves to be around people and is happiest when she is socialising with others.
Me time is a thing of the past
Finding time to do anything for myself is so much harder now I have two kids. Fewer people will look after both the kids for me so I can go and get my hair done or just go shopping alone. I don’t blame them either as both my kids are full on and yes it is hard work. So I find people will offer to have one child for me so I always seem to have at least one child with me at all times.
You may have noticed that my blog has gone a little quite recently this is because my kids don’t stay asleep. So that time I have on the evening to myself is very little. Sometimes I have a child in my face from the moment I wake to the time I go to sleep. Well when I say sleep I mean close my eyes for a moment.
Jobs are never done
The washing machine is constantly on the ironing basket is never empty. This is something that I do find hard to come to terms with I don’t mind doing all the washing. It just really gets to me when I see the ironing piling up and up and im just not able to get it done. There really isn’t enough hours in the day. I like my kids to have their clothes ironed that just me I suppose it’s having a mom that irons everything it’s just rubbed off on me.
The House isn’t as clean as it used to be. Now I don’t live in a tip but it’s just not as clean and tidy as I would like it to be. I find to get a lot of things done I have to do them once the kids are in bed which then results in me not sitting down till late at night. I would love one day to be able to have a cleaner. Not to come every week just every now and again to sort my house out.
You don’t do as much with your second child
When Ava was little we went to all the groups. Went to all different places and experienced loads of different things. With Alby I constantly feel guilty that I haven’t done as much with him . I will add this isn’t all my fault it’s mainly because groups dont cater for both my children. So im not able to go to them. Like there is a local baby morning near my house but for moms with baby under 1 so I was never able to go along with Friends to this as I had Ava and they wouldn’t let me take her.
Plus with two kids im constantly running around taking one to an appointment in the morning then going to get something in the afternoon for the other. So the time I do have to do anything is so little. Especially as I work part-time and on those days I leave the house at 8 and don’t get back till half 4/ 5.
I know a lot of that sounds really negative like I have had a horrid past year. That isn’t the case it’s just so different. I have loved being a mom of two even though it is hard. There is nothing more special than watching your children grow together. Building a bond with each other. Learning how to interact with each other. Ava and Alby 9/10 play really lovely together and watching them play just melts my heart. Alby is just stating to take his few steps and he will reach out the Ava to hold his hand so she can help him walk. Or like today I was nearly in tears with pure happiness as when I was driving home from work I looked in my mirror to see the kids holding hands in the back of the car with the biggest smiles on their faces.
Your second fits around your life not you fit your life around them
When Ava was little she had a good Routine. I knew exactly what time she had her naps. I wouldn’t go out if it was nap time I would plan my day around when she would need a sleep or when she needed her lunch. Alby just has to roll with it he has never had a routine. He very rarely sleeps in his coat in the day like Ava did. As were out and about somewhere doing something to keep Ava entertained.
I have also on a few occasions forget something of Albys and had to dash to a shop whilst we out to buy something. Now this is something that never happened when Ava was little. I was so organised I checked her bag daily and never forgot anything. I have numerous time had to buy bottles and milk whilst im out for Alby and even a change of clothes as I forgot to put that it. As we ran out of the house to get to somewhere and I just didn’t check the bag.
Being a mom of two is so hard but then it’s so worth it !
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