All I can think about when baby is with us is will I be able to cope . I have done a good job if I do say so myself of bringing Ava up so far. Will I be able to do it second time around at the same time of not neglecting Ava. Will I be okay being a mom of two
By the way I’m not after a sympathetic response to this post. I just need to tell you all I’m shitting it . Just because I have a child already or have looked after a nursery full of children . Doesn’t mean I’m going to be any good at this mom of two thing .
Will I mentally be able to cope with it . At times now I find Ava can be hard work . So what’s going to happen if she is having a tantrum in Tesco like she does and the baby starts to cry what am I meant to do. Which child do you deal with first . Ahh I don’t know I’m just hoping it will come to me . The thought of it though really stresses me out. I’m not much of a drinker but I can see this time next year I may enjoy a glass of wine or two on an evening!
You know what scares me the most is having to have a c section again . To the point I have been having nightmares about it . The thought of not being able to drive and being stuck in the house with a 2-year-old and a baby is just awful . What about if I don’t recover from my c section so well next time how am I going to cope . I know my family and Jordan will be around to support me but I know I won’t take the help . When I had just had Ava I remember having a moment because I couldn’t bend over the bath the bath her . I just wanted to be the best mom and do what ever she needs me to do . I so hope I can give both her and the new baby all that they need.
Obviously money worries me Ava has what Ava wants . This is just how things are I wouldn’t say she is spoilt .As I won’t get it if she is being naughty . Just because I can afford it I like her to have what she wants. Am I going to be able to do this for two on maternity pay and some money I make from my blog . My problem is I hate taking money off people even Jordan . For some reason it makes me feel like a failure like I cannot provide for my kids.
I’m sure once I get into the swing of things I will be fine just the thought of it makes me want to cry. I know many people have done it before me and many more after me, And they have survived but it still doesn’t make it any easier for me to get my head around.