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The sick feeling

I am not feeling sick because I’m poorly or pregnant !! ( not yet my body needs to recover ), I am feeling sick at the thought of going back to work. I know people may think Ava is only 12 weeks old and your not going back to work potentially till January so whats the problem .

I just don’t know how I am going to trust someone to look after my little baby girl . Which is crazy because for years now I have been telling parents not to worry they will be fine. ( literally going to eat them words now !). You have to put so much trust into someone that you are going to leave your child with ( I am so grateful that so many parents have trusted me because now I can see how hard it is ).
It’s the tug of war in my head of do we send her to nursery or a childminder or does my mom have her one day , I know being with other children will be really good for her !!. Its just sooooo hard I don’t know how parents do it . I think the one of the thing for me is that I will go to work to look after other people’s children whilst someone is looking after my little girl !!. I don’t think I would find it so hard if worked in an office .
The other thing is being a nursery manager I know what should and shouldn’t be happening in a childcare setting and this is going to make life so much harder finding somewhere to take her !.
I’m sure I wil get my head around it eventually and do what’s best ,( perfect plan is have a job where I can work from home , sure will be harder than the image in my head with a toddler running around).
What have other parents done ?, what made your decision ? . Please help me !!
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