Being furloughed is a mixed bag of emotions

I have now been furloughed from work and it’s causing me some really mixed emotions . There hasn’t been a time apart from being on maternity leave . That I haven’t worked since I was 16. Well actually before I was sixteen as I used to help at a dance school every weekend when I was younger than that.

I’m one of those people that actually likes going to work . I always have done . I haven’t really had a time where I didn’t want to go .Working in the childcare sector you have to love your job otherwise you wouldn’t do it .

More so since becoming a mom I have loved going to work . Mainly for a bit of me time. Which to some I know sounds crazy . But it’s 3 days a week where I can talk to other adults . Have hot cups of tea and focus on something I enjoy doing .

Now I don’t have to go to work till I don’t know when I don’t know how I feel about it . It’s a really mixed bag of emotions. On one hand I’m happy that I don’t have to go out and potentially put myself in danger . Although I did feel very safe at work and it was like nothing was happening. As my team are amazing and just got on with their jobs.

I do however know that I will be getting a wage each month even if the government has made that harder for nurseries to have the money to furlough staff . That’s another post for another time maybe . But having a wage each month is something I need to be grateful for . As I know so many other people are in a worse position that me . Being laid off in a time where work isn’t easily available. Or interviews are not taking place must just be awful !

Then on the other hand I’m worried about being at home constantly. It’s not like I can pop out with the kids somewhere to kill a few hours either. Jordan’s back at work so for half the day it’s just me and the kids . Which if they are having a good day is a breeze but they if they are not . Well it makes it a hell of a long day.

I’m hoping that it will kick start me into to writing more often on my blog . As one the main reasons why I don’t recently is time and just not wanting to . Sitting at a computer at work makes my eyes hurt even when I’m wearing my glasses . So most nights it’s the last thing I want to do when I come home .

I’m also worried if I will have a job to return to which I know many people are . My job is secure at the moment but who knows where we will be at the end of this . I then get thinking have I done enough to show my workplace I’m worth keeping . Is my job needed when things go back to normal. A little bit of background for you just incase you don’t know . I work for a nursery, after going back after having Ava I stopped working in the nursery rooms and took on a marketing role . Dealing with all things Facebook , websites and PR amongst other hats I wear . I’m just hoping the work I have done over the last 12 months bringing new children to the nursery shows that I’m worth keeping on.

It’s just such a funny time isn’t it . For everyone, no one really knows what’s going on . Or what’s going to happen next so we’re waiting in Limbo just waiting for the government to work out and implement what’s going to happen next . Which in itself is a scary thing.

I think I’m just going to live in the moment . Take each day as it comes and then what happens at the end of it all with happen . There is nothing I can do to change that . I just need to ensure my kids are happy and healthy and that we make the most out of this situation.

Have you been furloughed how are you finding it ?